December

As you may have already gleaned from some of my entries, I love fall and winter. Really. I've always thought that I have a disorder exactly opposite of those people who get depressed during winter and have to sit in front of sun lamps. Summer usually bums me out -- hot and humid weather, a wardrobe that reminds me on a daily basis that I am not thrilled with my body, hours and hours of sunlight that make me think I should be working, etc. The major exceptions to these complaints are baseball and really good thunderstorms.

Fall and winter have always satisfied my nesting instinct, my love for all things cozy and some sort of hot drink to cradle in my always-frigid hands (Dave helpfully rubs them for me and offers the sage advice to quit smoking). I love sweaters and thick socks and comfy throws on the couch. I like baking cookies for the sole purpose of countering the draft coming through the kitchen door -- with the fringe benefits of the smell and, of course, the cookies. I like filling out Christmas cards and decorating for the holidays. I love a good snowstorm -- especially when it begins when we're fully stocked with food and toilet paper and the potato-leek soup is already simmering.

All of this is to say -- this year I'm not feeling it. I have not baked a cookie. I have not dug out all of my cozy sweaters. We have not bought a tree. December has descended upon us and we are both struggling to control it.

We did decorate -- and the apartment looks great. I bought scented candles and we have the big star in the window. I love that. We did a big cleaning when we decorated and did it all in one day (yes, we -- Dave did lots to help). This has proven smart as we would not have decorations up if we had left them to do piecemeal. We are both busy (yes, me -- I've even got a job interview on the phone tomorrow but I'm not going to talk about it here nor is anyone going to discuss it less we jinx the first chance of a shot at a job I've had in over two years). I've also got a meeting tonight (Ofest '05!) and a meeting (parish council) and choir rehearsal (WGN-TV is coming to preview us before we shoot some little piece for some religious music program they have) tomorrow night. Sprinkle in a few social obligations and visiting friends and family from out of town, and the December calendar is full. We're just a little overwhelmed lately and Christmas is not going to patiently wait for us to come up for air.

I'm actually looking forward to the days after Christmas at my parents' -- the afterglow, if you will. The debriefing from nieces and nephews about Santa's performance this year, cookies for breakfast (I'll make them at some point!), colorful flames in the fireplace from wrapping paper kindling, hours-long games on the dining room table, the perpetual pot of coffee or mugs of Mom's hot chocolate to fuel the day, and, notably, no shopping to do, no errands to run, no holiday drivers and lack of parking to deal with, no hours of interstate driving with amateurs to suffer, no Salvation Army bell ringers to bear, no appropriate outfits to coordinate for social occasions, no meetings-we-have-to-get-in-before-the-holidays to attend, only family, food, and thick socks and a cozy sweater -- that part of Christmas that is after Christmas that I love.