Turn Turn Turn

Nature is balance. Everything has a season. Everything in it's time.

I am all about balance now.

I don't mean a balancing act – Lord knows I'm not very good at juggling it all, and the scars on my skull betray my lack of equilibrium.

What I mean is the balance of life – the beginnings and endings, the up and down, the hot and cold, darkness and light, joy and pain. You get the picture. I am all about balance.

I hate the "when God closes a door He opens a window" crap. That's crap. It's a lame attempt to make you feel better about the fact that God slammed the door in your face and the only thing you could think to do was crawl out the back window that is conveniently left open so that you won't have to have "the talk" with Him about how much He loves you, how He has plans for you…Why do people say that shit to you when you're feeling bad about something?

It's all crap. The fact that God won't let me walk through the door I've chosen and that He would rather that I crawl out a window and risk breaking my head doesn't make me feel any better.

I decided last week that it isn't doors and windows. It's a path – a long, winding path like a labyrinth or maze.

Sometimes the particular road you choose ends up a dead end – you don't end up where you wanted to be, but you learn something along the way and then you must go back to where you made the last choice. Or maybe it's that you learn something on the way back and that's why the maze analogy works. It's got to be something like that.

It's all forks and choices, rough path, smooth path, up hill, down hill, narrow path, wide path – you see? More balance.

I tend to get upset when things don't go according to my plan --- I guess we all do. (Let me believe we all do. I can be something of a control freak.) I'm not very good at believing that God has a plan for me that may not match my own plan or may not coincide with my timeline.

I'm not sure what is at the center of the labyrinth, the middle of the maze, but I am determined to stay on that path, to continue to make choices, and to lay my hands on the prize that is my goal.