Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I'd Like One With Everything

There is nothing better than a good hot dog. I was reminded of this last night when I picked Dave up from work. Since there is no food in the house, I suggested we go get sandwiches or sandwich makings. I left the particular choice and location up to him. A few minutes after leaving downtown, we pulled into the parking lot of Demon Dogs.

I grew up in a dogless culture. Frozen custard? Sure. Toasted raviolis? You betcha. Thin crust pizza? The best there is. A hot dog with everything? Not that I'm aware of.

The only dogs I remember enjoying while growing up were at home (boiled when we were very young, later barbequed, for a time we feasted on the cheese *inside* the dog food fad), or grilled at the school picnic or baseball stadium. I also remember getting a dog at a tavern (girl scout field trip) owned by a family we knew who cooked their dogs on a grill after splitting them open lengthwise. Previous to that experience, I thought dogs were split like that only so that they would fit on orphan hamburger buns. The one thing I can find in common about some of those dogs is that they were cooked on a grill rather than boiled.

When I got older, I met and fell in love with a Chicagoan -- a real one who was born and raised within the city limits, he'll tell you. Chicagoans are a proud people. They are proud of their city, their sports teams, their pizza, and their hot dogs. My first experience with a Chicago hot dog was at Demon Dogs. Demon Dogs is tucked under the el tracks of the Brown (or Ravenswood) Line at the Fullerton el (elevated train) stop. Demon Dogs is on DePaul University's campus and is named for the DePaul Blue Demons. It is a shoebox of a place with paraphernalia from the band Chicago screwed onto every vertical inch of the place. I can never remember the actual connection -- I believe the owner of Demon Dogs is the father of one of the band members. I'll have to check with Dave.

When you walk into Demon Dogs you are immediately accosted by several women behind a long counter who are all wearing Demon Dogs t-shirts and hats who start screaming "Can I help you?" You should not approach the counter and expect to look at a menu. You should not approach the counter and ask any questions. You need to be aggressive and assertive and plainly belt out your order "Yeah, I need a dog with everything, no peppers, no celery salt." [Note: hot dogs in Chicago do not have ketchup on them. Ketchup is not a possibility. Kethcup is only for the very young, and even then it is questioned.]

The woman behind the counter will yell out to a person standing next to a wall of deep fryer baskets "I need one" (or "uno" as the case may be). This means fries. You don't have to order fries, they come with the dog. She'll call this out because every order of fries at Demon Dogs is fried to order -- no soggy ones left under a lamp to die. Someone else might ask you what you want to drink. Dave likes to get a small vanilla shake. I like a small Pepsi. The cups at Demon Dogs often have the name of some other restaurant on them. I haven't figured that one out yet. Your dog, fries, a drink will cost about what you have in your pocket in change.

We like to sit at the counter to eat -- you can also sit at a small collection of tables and chairs, and there is seating outside next to the el tracks. I forgot to mention that the music played at Demon Dogs is from the band Chicago (for example, "Hard Habit To Break") -- all the time, on a loop. I'm often amazed that the people that work there don't go ballistic and smash the gold records and plexiglass-protected horns. If you choose to sit outside, you are not neglected the Chicago experience -- the music is broadcast outside on loudspeakers.

Sitting at the counter inside is advantageous in that it is easy to go up and order your second dog. Unless you're there for snack, you'll need the second dog. Demon Dogs are Vienna Beef hot dogs (another Chicago tradition) that are boiled to perfection. The smallish dog comes on a steamed bun. "Everything" at most dog places in Chicago includes mustard (yellow), relish (sometimes an unnatural-looking bright green), onions (diced), tomato (slices that are cut in half), pickle (long enough to fit on the bun), sometimes celery salt (I don't know what it is, but a little on a dog is good), and sometimes hot peppers -- it depends on the place.

Dave and I have become hot dog connoisseurs. We saw a PBS documentary on hot dogs across the US and became obsessed. We use our "Eat Your Way Across the USA" to find places when we're on the road. We've made notes about other places we've seen or heard about. We've hit three new places in two states in the last couple of weeks.

We've already started plans to bring hot dogs to the city of my youth when we win the lottery. Naturally, they'll be cooked on grill. We will also offer the classic boiled Chicago dog -- oooh! and maybe a variation on the grilled dog on the 'garbage plate' that we saw (but didn't dare try) in Rochester earlier this month.

I'll have to post another time about the hot dog places we've visited.

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